Pastors may have one of the most difficult jobs in the country right now. Relational roadside bombs have been embedded in our congregations. Some are easily spotted ahead of time, but others are hidden in unassuming people and situations. Months of altered schedules, state-mandated restrictions, exposure to a steady diet of conspiracy theories, loss of jobs, and a hyper-aggressive political climate (among other challenges) have exposed serious weaknesses in many of us. Pent-up rage and hostility toward the idiots on the other side who are perpetuating our collective problems explodes out of us, harming our churches and weakening our ability to hear God’s voice.
It is us against “them” and increasingly the “them(s)” are our fellow believers. This dynamic is unsustainable. The church and country need people of deep character, authentic faith, and a deep reservoir of courage. We need people who are not quick to make others the enemy while simultaneously moving through life with a steady confidence in the convictions guiding their behavior. We need people of peace.
People of peace genuinely seek to understand those with whom they disagree….they lean in and begin to ask questions.
You know these people. They don’t belittle others. When they disagree, you usually find them leaning in and asking questions rather than retreating or responding defensively. They are willing to share their perspective and do so with a quiet confidence that lets you know they respect you, but ultimately they are more concerned with integrity than gaining your approval. Honor and discipline mark their steps. Love for others seeps from their being.
How do we become people of peace?
Get Close. (2 Thessalonians 3:7-9)
One of the most effective ways to learn a new behavior or way of thinking is to get close to people you want to emulate. We usually call this discipleship. We shepherd a new Christian toward spiritual maturity by encouraging that person to spend time with those who have walked with Christ for many years. If you find yourself in frequent fits of anger and wishing Facebook had a facepalm button, perhaps it is time to break from social media and spend more time with people who have attributes we want. Pay attention to how they process difficult questions and respond to people who differ. Ask questions.
Recapture Grace. (Romans 3:10-12, James. 4:6)
The great irony in people of strength and character is that they are very aware of their own weakness. They are humble and aware they have need of a savior. Part of the struggle in so many of us is that we have forgotten the extravagant grace of God toward us. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” An awareness of our own sinfulness brings a caution to our indignations and frustrations with others. Those who live with Christ and rest in his grace are slow to anger, slow to make harsh judgments, and slow to condemn. A key component in becoming a person of peace is a greater awareness of God’s grace.
Stop and Lean In. (Proverbs 18:2)
Our news feeds are full of evidence for our tribe’s righteousness. In fact, it is likely that there is video evidence of your political or theological opponents exhibiting evil behavior. Of course, your opponents have footage of your group’s worst moments. People of peace genuinely seek to understand those with whom they disagree. Instead of attacking or giving in to their discomfort and running away, they lean in and begin to ask questions. They look to gain a genuine understanding of opposing ideas. This leads to confidence in their convictions, builds credibility with those with whom they disagree, and develops in the people of peace themselves an ability to see others as people rather than enemies.
Learning to get close, remembering God’s grace for you, and becoming patient with your opponents takes time and patience, but Christ’s church needs us to become more careful, more thoughtful, and less angry. A few slight turns of the dial in that direction could make a significant difference in our churches and in our world.
7 Responses
Thank you, Jeremy for such a thoughtful and articulate challenge and encouragement!
Thanks, Jeremy. I keep working at it!
Thanks for the reminder/challenge to “lean in.”
This is such a good and timely challenge. Thanks, Jeremy!
Very good word Jeremy thank you
An excellent commentary, Jeremy, on our responsibilities and our outlook in relating to people. I will seek to grow in my perspective on other views, and keep learning to appreciate and respect what others may teach me.
Thank you, Jeremy for these timely words of encouragement & challenge in this time of fearfulness & distrust. I truly needed them this morning! I am asking The Holy Spirit to help me courageously & warmly engage people who see things differently than me. When I come up against resistance & brittleness in another person I see myself poking at them in unhelpful ways. I truly don’t want to hurt people. I want to help them shake off the grip that fear seems to have on them but poking & shaking is not helpful especially in the times we are in right now! Lord Jesus show me the way to lean in and be gently & kindly curious with the people You put on my path today. In Jesus name Amen.