The fleas. They always come to mind when I think of giving thanks during hard times.
Fortunately, this mental association doesn’t come from personal experience, but rather from a story that might be familiar to you as well.
Corrie ten Boom tells of her time in a concentration camp during the Holocaust, and of her internal struggle to “give thanks in all circumstances” as she had just read in Scripture. She was able to courageously give thanks with her sister Betsie for a few things in the midst of their horrific situation, but balked at Betsie’s insistence on being thankful for the awful flea infestation in their barracks.
Weeks later, the sisters realized why their barracks had experienced relative freedom from the guards, why they had been able to share their Bible — the fleas were so bad that no one wanted to set foot in the place. Suddenly it was easier to be thankful for fleas.
This story does a lot of things for me, besides just making me itchy. I need the perspective it brings, as well as the challenge, since I understand I often fall so short of giving thanks in all circumstances. I love the “happy ending”—but there is so much more depth here, in a way that makes my soul ache from the bittersweet.
I don’t know all the details surrounding the rest of Corrie’s history, yet I’m certain her gratitude didn’t always come with a lot of warm, fuzzy feelings. We think fleas sound bad, but they don’t scratch the surface of her incredibly painful experiences. Betsie gave thanks for those fleas, and Betsie died in that camp. Rather than being tied up with a pretty bow, this example of hard-fought gratitude is tied up with immense suffering.
This is why it’s beautiful. God did not rescue the sisters from their living hell; saying “thank you” does not magically lift us out of our difficult circumstances. Expressing gratitude doesn’t make everything feel nice all of a sudden.
And actually, I’m not sure that we are called to give thanks for all circumstances, but rather in all circumstances.
My faith in Christ is based solely on him and not on what he does for me — my gratitude and ability to give thanks does not hinge on circumstances, whether they be positive or negative. My story has some hard elements to it, as I’m sure yours does, and I have a really hard time thinking God wants us to be grateful for all of it.
Four years ago, my husband was in a horrible farming accident. Brian was run over by a no-till drill, which for non-agrarian readers, is an extremely heavy piece of equipment fitted with sharp metal discs. It is designed to bust through rock-hard Kansas soil, and a human body doesn’t begin to stand a chance.
I will never be grateful for the tractor that kept moving, for the way my husband’s body was literally crushed. I am not thankful for his collapsed lungs, broken ribs, internal injuries; for the complications, infections, wracking pain.
And my Father God loves him even more than I do, so I don’t think he expects me to thank him for some of those things. It would sound facetious, inane, and cruel for me to have said, “Thank you for the way his small bowel isn’t working, and for the sepsis that is flooding his blood with infection.” I don’t feel gratitude for all the times Brian was truly at the brink of death, for the physical agony he was in and the emotional agony the rest of us were in, and I don’t think I need to.
However. I am awash in gratitude. Partly because, by the insane grace of God, my husband is walking around essentially completely healed—with just a little less intestine and a lot more scars.
But my gratitude goes deeper than that. If I were only giving thanks for the happy times, that wouldn’t be in all circumstances. God and I had some really honest, raw moments together during those awful months, and I started to learn the lifelong process of giving thanks for who God is—despite what he’s doing to/for me. He is the only constant in all of our circumstances, and he is the One in whom and to whom we give the thanks. This gives us absolute freedom to be thankful all the time, because God always is, regardless of whatever else is going on.
Tying our gratitude to Christ does not ask us to discount the suffering and grief we or others experience in our broken world. Through that lens, however, we can find grace in unexpected places. Again, I am not thankful for the actual elements of Brian’s accident, yet I am so grateful for the deep joy God brought out of that deep sorrow. I can absolutely say thank you for the way God walked with me in the valley of the shadow of death; for the way thousands of his people came alongside as we mourned and rejoiced together; for the things as little as a cup of hot chocolate in the middle of the night and as big as the way Brian woke up from a coma just as Brian as he ever was.
I thank God for the severe mercy that gave me better vision, to take more delight in daily grace because I have been in a place where all I wanted was to care about the little things again. If we look around, we can find things to be thankful for, even if we’re not thankful for all the things.
What are you thankful for today? Find the little things, find the big things, and most of all, find the God who is in all of our circumstances.
I just hope you don’t find any fleas.
One Response
Thanks for sharing, Amanda. I especially loved the quote, “This gives us absolute freedom to be thankful all the time, because God always is, regardless of whatever else is going on.” This is so true! Practicing gratitude in the midst of any circumstance is difficult, but so necessary. It brings lasting joy and healing.