There is something humbling about standing in the center of a room full of young people all on their phones. Attempts to make an announcement at a reasonable volume go largely unnoticed, and by the time everyone finally looks up, half of them have already missed what you said. So, when my husband, Mark, and I made the announcement loud and clear at our youth retreat, “This afternoon during free time, we want all of you to put your phones in the phone basket!” collective groans filled the room.
Maybe I added a little too much enthusiasm for their liking, or maybe most of them really did not like the idea of their phones sitting in a little brown basket for hours. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that the youth group was always glued to their personal screens. In fact, some of them were excited to give up their phones. As expected, the grumbles lasted only a moment, and as soon as the basket was full, so was the room with chatter.
Throughout the afternoon of the “no phone policy,” we observed that board games had emerged, a wrestling match or two had to be broken up, and more laughter and chaos resounded through the house and yard. It’s ironic that having a device with immediate access to entertainment, communication, and information never produces the joy of genuine connection that comes from being present together.
Over the past four years, I have had the great privilege of relating to high school and college students every single day. I have never encountered a young person in my spheres of influence without a phone, and rarely find anyone without some form of social media. Because this is the first generation to grow up “chronically online,” they are experiencing uncharted territory, and everyone else gets to watch.
We have all heard the alarming statistics about anxiety, depression, and how young people are more “connected” than ever, but somehow report feeling lonelier than ever. It can be tempting to think that it’s a them problem and assume that if only they were like our generation, then they would have no problem at all. After all, other generations grew up with calloused hands, chapter books, and neighborhood hide-and-seek.
...young people want real relationships and authentic community, but have been given screens as a substitute.
The disappointing reality of effective marketing is that young people want real relationships and authentic community, but have been given screens as a substitute. I have a great deal of sympathy for today’s youth because I know that, as a whole, they truly desire something real for their social and spiritual lives. This search for something long-lasting has resulted in a movement of young people joining institutions that offer more authority, not because those institutions are suddenly more trustworthy, but because young people are hungry to have structure and something that offers boundaries.
Our churches and communities have an opportunity to fill this need for young people. Today’s youth are thoughtful, charismatic, authentic, and quite wonderful. They did not choose to be the test generation for TikTok and algorithms, just like baby boomers didn’t ask to be young when smoking was understudied and highly marketed. It is a special opportunity we all have to create spaces for teens and young adults to be free from the social and cultural burdens that have been placed on them and in front of them.
This is what I love about youth ministry and my role at Rosedale Bible College. The place and the structure are provided, and the students bring a desire for growth and connection. I have seen firsthand that when a phone basket is provided, or a mandatory discipleship group is on the schedule, students may groan at first, but they always thrive and impress me with their creativity and their desire for more depth.
What I have observed over the past few years is that our youth in the 21st century are the same as every other generation of young people—they have dreams, they are trying their best with what they have been given, and they have a longing that can only be satisfied by Christ and life in the Kingdom.
If this is true, then our job is to create and offer them those spaces to discover who God is and what His plans for their lives are. It isn’t always as difficult or as serious as we think.
Make them participate in strange, “uncool” games at youth group, expect them to show up for an early morning Bible study, and give them the chance to surprise you because they will. Maybe our role in the lives of the young people we love is simply to provide a metaphorical, and sometimes physical, phone basket.
Photo credit: Rumeysa Demir on Pexels
