Reconciliation! Where do we begin? Spiritually, the safest place to begin is God’s Word. Start with 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 where we are admonished to first, ourselves, be reconciled to God. These verses force us to ask the critical question: Is my life truly reconciled to God as he intends? To answer, I must be willing to open up the deepest recesses of my mind, will, and emotions to God. When I do, I will be taking the first step toward being a minister of reconciliation.
The onus still rests largely with us to assure we are thinking in a truly godly manner as we seek to reconcile with others.
As human beings, our natural tendency is to justify our actions and beliefs based upon our personal experiences, emotions, and acquired knowledge. In this process, we are quite adept at developing concepts of reality that are rather self-focused. If we consider the diversity of experience and belief systems in a world population headed toward 8 billion people, it should be no surprise that each of us will face challenges in being Christ-like ambassadors of reconciliation.
God directs us in Matthew 5:23-24 to first go and be reconciled to others; then come and offer our gift. Couple these verses with Matthew 7:3 regarding the potential “plank” in our own eye and the onus still rests largely with us to assure we are thinking in a truly godly manner as we seek to reconcile with others.
Application of the aforementioned verses puts us on a firm foundation to ensure we have proper position to seek reconciliation with others, but there are additional steps needed as well. The first of these is prayer. I have the greatest success in reconciliation when I have invested myself thoroughly in prayer, and have rallied the support and involvement of fellow Christians in prayer regarding the situation. We should also seek the wise counsel of others as God directs. Not wise counsel to build our case against another person or to gossip, but a fully self-transparent discussion, trusting God to reveal blind spots, strongholds, hidden agendas—anything that has not been placed in submission to God.
All of these are keys to successful reconciliation, to fulfilling our role as ambassadors for Christ. How do I know this is true? The answer is simple:
In June of 2012, my wife came to me and advised me she was moving out. She no longer wanted to share life with me, other than being there for our adult children. She had a long list of the ways I had failed her, and she no longer wanted to invest in our relationship. In March of 2014, she successfully obtained the divorce she had desired. However, behind the scenes, during those twenty torturous months, I was committed to all the aforementioned aspects of reconciliation. I had to go through the process of facing where I truly stood with God. I had to humble myself in ways I’d never considered before. I found peace and comfort for my pain with Jesus, and I relied on the Holy Spirit to direct me. Brothers and sisters in Christ rallied to support my marriage in prayer. In this process, I was blessed with wise counselors, but the responsibility fell to me to test everything, keeping what was good in terms of counsel, as directed by God.
Then two weeks after our divorce my wife called me to say that God had awakened her from a sound sleep and told her she needed to return to our marriage. Reconciliation followed over the next month, the divorce was annulled, and we’ve been together ever since. God’s pathway to reconciliation worked for me. It can work for you as well. Follow his ways. Praise him!!!!
One Response
Thanks for sharing this testimony of God’s work in your own life — and the role God and the congregation played in supporting your troubled marriage. Anyone who is married can find multiple “reasons” for divorce — but God’s way of faithful covenant keeping is the path of Life!