After months of work, meetings, and preparation, our annual Multiply Conference has come and, seemingly in the blink of an eye, gone for another season of time. Attending the event, one of the questions that came to mind as I observed a busily conversing crowd in the foyer was “What are we doing here?” (This is a common thought for me when I enter a room and look blankly at what lies before me!) I also wondered why I came. What did we all expect to get out of this? I asked several people this question and received varying answers, but the major overlying theme of the responses was connection: the desire to see people face to face with adult conversation, and sweet renewal of fellowship with friends. Perhaps it was because this conference was close to home for me, perhaps simply because I am learning to know more people, or because I am learning to overcome my introverted tendencies, but the conference was one that I felt welcomed to personally, like I was surrounded by friends who cared and that made it easy to be together and enjoy the setting.
Breakout sessions are one of my favorite elements of conference. These inspire me to pursue lines of thinking and learning that stretch me and give new perspectives on my life and the world. This year since I was assisting in childcare most of the time, I was only able to catch the second session of Conflict Resolution 101 (Preston and Liz Yoder) and thoroughly enjoyed this engaging presentation. We discussed how communication and pressure levels can work together at rising levels until a certain point when the intensity will override the ability to relate. The input was well researched and shared so that I found it easy to correlate with my own conflicts and identify red-flag situations before they blow up.
I may think that this following Jesus thing is going great, but it takes testing and trials to see what is really inside of my heart.
Sunday morning’s message from Merlin Miller (of Riverview Mennonite Church) refocused me on the message I am communicating to the world: Is it Christ? Is the whole being of who Christ is exuding through my words, my social media posts, my connections with my children? The message was shared not as a hammer, but as a gentle touch from a friend and is so timely for me. My three children are young (ages 4 and under) and in my striving to get my life in order, it is so easy to push them aside, communicating that my current task is more important than hearing them. Some aspects of the fruit of the Spirit of God living in me come to mind: kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. On some days, when everything flows smoothly and no one gets in my way, I may think that this following Jesus thing is going great, but it takes testing and trials to see what is really inside of my heart. Anyone can be pleasant as long as they aren’t pushed, but it takes a miracle of Jesus to take a hardened soul and produce gentleness when natural instincts want to rage.
One personal conversation with a friend remains present in my memory as she described learning to connect with people over the past year on Zoom meetings. My friend described the screen being like a wall between people and how difficult it can be to communicate kindness through that to the hearers, especially when in a face-to-face setting you might want to wrap an emotional person in a hug. Some of the ways that she learned to overcome these blocks were with facial expressions, using more voice tone changes along with eye contact to communicate, “You matter to me. I’m giving you my complete attention. I care about what you are saying.” It occurred to me that while Zoom is on a visible screen between us, hundreds of invisible walls exist in our daily lives that we have to navigate to truly connect with souls. Some may seem simple, like meeting a new person and pressing through the newness of learning to know them in order to gain a friend. Others could be much more complicated, like gaining back the confidence of a hurt friend, overcoming age barriers, personality differences, and personal histories. One will never overcome these obstacles of connection by force or manipulation.
Keeping this picture in my mind as I approach relationships gives me inspiration on how to truly be together with others, when the walls between soul and soul are no longer there. Breaking down the divisions that keep us apart, I can open the way with kindness and love as Christ did in giving his life up for others.
“For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility” (Eph. 2:14 NIV).
Reprinted from Connections, August 2021.
4 Responses
Beautifully written Abby!
Wow Abby, good words! I know now what your gift is or at least one of them!!
You have a gift for written words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I love your thoughts Abby! Great job!